Scam-proof an aging parent's phone, inbox, and bank accounts

  1. Hold the first conversation with your parent
    45 min

    This step produces the project’s charter: one goal the parent states in their own words, plus a standing rule that the parent can veto any step. The trap is framing — open with blame or a lecture and the parent will defend rather than partner, and every later session gets harder. Nothing gets installed today; the deliverable is agreement, in the parent’s voice.

    Run the conversation in this order, face to face or on a video call, with nothing else on the table:

    1. Open with a recent scam story about a stranger — from the news or the FTC’s alerts — and say plainly: “this is why I want to do this together.”
    2. Ask one open question: “If someone got into your bank account tomorrow, what would you want in place?” Let the parent answer fully; do not correct or interrupt.
    3. Reflect back what you heard, then propose one goal that matches their answer.
    4. Ask the parent to restate the goal in their own words; write it down verbatim.
    5. State the veto rule — “you can decline any step, any time, no argument” — and get a yes before you stop.